The Road Not Taken

Unlikely famous as the poem, the quote itself is chanted over and over again whenever we meet a crossroads in life.

There again me in this dilemma. It was countless encounter, and I couldn’t recall the exact number of choices I had to choose along my life. But I’d remember the important roads I had taken and leaving the other not taken.

First encounter was when I was in Standard 6, whether to go to boarding school or stay at daily school. I chose boarding school over daily school.

Second encounter was after my PMR, whether to stay at MRSM Muar or to move to MRSM Jasin. I chose Jasin over Muar.

Third encounter after SPM, taking Diploma Ukur Bahan or doing one-year course in matrics. I chose matric.
Fourth, which university and what course to choose for my first degree? I got my second choice.

Now the fifth one is the hardest decision I have to make. Whether to continue my studies or to go to work.
Arguments kept fighting inside my head together with logics, statistics, and emotions. I’ve failed four interviews before, of which only one is related to my courses. If I am to work, am I ready enough for the challenges? And If I was to work with private companies, am I going to breach the contract with government? How many works are there available for environment students?

I’m not being picky, but last time I went to interview, I could sense that I won’t be happy to work outside science field. I would prefer to contribute to society as a scientist, not as a banker.

Emotions also played an important role in my decision-making process. Jealousy of those friends who had now landing on their first jobs and now would be able to manage their own money, drive their own transport and live in their own house. And it is enough to make me questioning my qualities as a graduate.

Why I couldn’t get an equal good job? We have the same experience. Undeniably good grades.

Should I continue my study further so that after I graduate my income should be higher?
I met my lecturer earlier this day, and I went straight-talk to him. He asked me what would I do for my Master’s degree?

And I answered that I would like to do ecotoxicological modeling of ikan patin in Temerloh. And he was very pleased with the idea. I was glad that he liked it. And in my defense of rebutting the ‘go to work’ argument, I would say this is what I can do if I’m pursuing my studies further. Contributing to the world as a scientist.

But could the joy of doing my Master would overcome my disappointment of myself that was not very compatible in finding jobs? I don’t know. I seriously don’t.

But one thing that I believe as Muslim, our rezeki is all in God’s hand. Don’t be jealous of others, maybe they’ve got good jobs and all that but maybe you would get something better. Just keep your faith of Him strong, and believe that whatever you do you will have Him by your side. Don’t stop believing.
Sometimes the road not taken by others is the road that would channel you to success. If Allah’s will, then it would.

P/S: Congrats to everyone that had begun your first step in your career. Wish me luck with any path that I’m taking in the future.