24 October 2012
“Please be serious. You’re a man now”
We can crush from having tonnes of expectations inflicted on top of us from people surrounding. I used to believe that you can choose whatever paths you’d love in life, savouring the taste of freedom of choice.
But not anymore.
Somebody close to me condemns me for running away from responsibilities. In fact, it’s all I have ever done my whole life. Running away from where the circumstances are unfavourable.
I hate being hoped for, or being the hope. I don’t think I can perform under such pressure. I love to take shortcuts, cutting corners where things can be done differently. Where I don’t have to give up my freedom and take the responsibility.
It’s the character that was imprinted into my gene – I deducted. I’m not a born leader, I hate being the person to take charge of everything. The emotional effect is so draining and exhausting.
To some point, I decided to do something else in life. I am seriously considering being a novelist, a book writer, (if blog writing gives me the same amount of money, I’d be a full time blogger), any job that doesn’t require me to work with people, or worse yet, to lead people.
I’d rather follow than lead, just to run away from having to take responsibilities.
I loved to just lie down on my bed all day; reading books like I used to when I was a kid, dismissing the universe altogether and just have it my way. Whenever I have to take responsibilities, it is like having this stone to carry around my back that it drained all my innocence dry.
People asked me to be more serious about life; they thought I am too playful in handling my life. I don’t know how that is a problem, I don’t know whether it is better to be serious in life or just to take things lightly. After all, the world is just temporary.
I just want to be mindless about life; I just don’t think I can be the man people want me to be. I want to be the person I am destined to be, not bound by the norms and expectations that people put. It does not mean a bad thing; it just means that I am living my life as I want it to be lived. In that ways, is how I am responsible for my own life and decisions.
I hate being asked to do certain things in life. How people tell me how I should bring myself, how I should talk, how I should walk. If life can be lived a thousand ways, why should I bother living it your way?
Peace out, kind people. Ignorance is bliss.