14 May 2011

Letting Go

Who do you think you are? – Jar of Hearts

In my very vast definition of love, I suddenly stumbled upon somebody. And this world created just for me and you; that nothing seemed to matter anymore. That my world is all about you; you and you. My world revolved around you.

I liked the way everything seemed to be perfect eventhough it was just us. We shared our lives together, soar to heights of dreams and satisfaction. In some ways, you are a part of me. Every tear, laughter and hug. In each I put my heart into. Because I love you.

How in the world, one day, you asked everything to stop? To stop being just us, and diverge our world into two the way it was?

You never knew how you made me feel perfect and loved. How finally I felt like I am worth something to someone. How with all my flaws, you’d still be able to accept me?

No, you are not cruel. You are just taking another path. And I was lonely again on my own. Even worse than before the start. I felt like some of me died inside. Because after all, you are a part of me. Literally.

Many things that I did I did for you. Just for simple reasons to make you happy. But you really didn’t need that. You didn’t need me. At all.

I was risking everything that I had in hand just to taste some sip of your poisonous love. It backfired.

When all hopes started to burn away, the best that I did was finding another strength and cause to live. But your love is so deep trenching inside my soul. Every thing I did without you became so painful itself automatically.

Not that I missed you, or your smiles, or your love. I just need your presence. To comfort me. To give me an unspeakable amount of strength and spirit. To assure me that every path I take in my life you would be there with me.

Even in some of my wildest thoughts, I was dreaming of a family. Of kids of our own. You and I grow old together, and reminisce the good old days with our small grandchildren.

Sometimes I laughed at my own stupidity. And cried consequently. How love had played a deadly game with me, and I lose miserably. And I just miss you even more. And missing and missing until tears seemed to be too little to compare with the excruciating sorrow.

You took away my sunshine and rainbow. But still, I miss you so very much. Because you are a part of me.

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