29 April 2011

Black Swan: A Dedication


White swan

Some other night I watched the movie Black Swan with my friend. It was just another night where we would spend and do something stupid like loafing up to 3 am in the morning.

The swan depicts the transformation of one sweet white swan to an evil sinister malevolent black one. I would say it is one interesting story, and one that can people relate to.

Somehow I can relate the story to my friend’s. My friend was a very excellent student while we were in school; he had a bright future ahead, with many acquaintances that enjoyed his company so much, teachers that loved him. Flying colour results. I didn’t envy him at all, I must say, but sometimes we were not in good terms. We were friends, it’s true, but sometimes he did backstabbed me. And I just had another friends around, that my friendship with him does not became so significant, so to speak.

But time flied so fast, and suddenly we were here. While I am still enjoying my guiltless childish-innocence life in UPM, my friend had became a monster I barely knew. He showed me a pill last time. He started taking ecstasy. To make matters worse, he is now involved in some kind of ‘things’ that I could not bring my tongue to speak. His nightlife is full of entertainment and insanity.

He had another world, and I had mine. While I still consider him as a good company, he never fails to freak me out with his confessions of bad things he had done. As a friend and as a Muslim, I tried my best to advise him, but I know things are hard for him. He cannot just change like that after hearing my preach. Me and him is not the same. I’d prefer to have a boring miserable like like I’d have now, compared to a life that is full of happenings, but also of guilt like he has.

What to expect? Life plays its tricks like you had never imagined. I was not a good student in school, with people kept stabbing me in the back, teachers laughing their asses off at me. And I managed to pull through, having my own best life right now. But why the best of people then, have the need to destroy their lives now with their own bare hands? What is the matter?

The transformed white, into black.

Is living in a big city the factor? Does the big lights and lusts kept preying on you? I have no answers myself. White swan sometimes just doesn’t want to be white anymore. It wants to feel and savour the immense worldly desires it kept within. To be embraced by fake love of sins and satisfaction. I prayed hard that I won’t ever changed into a black swan. Ever. And I was not born that way.

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