she told us that she wants to be a psychiatrist, (though she was reluctant to speak at first), stating that she wants to guide people to understand their feelings, and help them by doing so. i asked her, what triggers her to be a psychiatrist?
she told me that she was 'traumatised'. and i asked her back 'by what?'. and she answered me back 'by sex'. at this level, lacking those experiences as a teacher, i didn't know how to respond cleverly, and i, by a slip of tongue, asked her to elaborate why. i thought she just meant that sex intrigues her, or she just didn't like the prospect of it.
nevertheless, she answered, very nervously, 'i was nearly raped by my uncle'. i think i had really tried my hardest to remain emotionless, though i am quite convinced that i somehow did bulge my eyes. luckily, during this time, the rest of the students didn't listen to her, and asked me to repeat her words. i told them that "you were talking while she was talking! that's why you didn't hear a thing!"
Anita, however, remained calm throughout her presentation, except for the repeating obsessive clicking that she did to her pen along her speech.
i felt bad of myself because i didn't know the best way to handle this sort of situation. true, i am just a tuition teacher, who meets her for a mere 60 minutes a week. but once she confided in me her story, it means somehow i am responsible in guiding her.
and i am angry to the society, for making delicate, sweet persons like her as their victims. she is very tender, and pretty. the students in my class even asked for her beauty tips during Q&A session.
and mind you, i only have 5 students, 4 of them are female. and 1 of them was already sexually abused. how about other girls in our country? the statistics are against them. if 1 out of 4 students that i know was abused, how about the rest?
please, i implore you teachers out there. wherever you are. protect the children. sometimes you are the only person that could help them. sometimes their own family are their predators. and help them to realise their dreams. i'm not good with words, i know.
but i need to get this out of my chest. i couldn't sleep all night thinking about her. how was she saved? how did she overcome the fear? did her family protect her hard enough?
all those questions left unanswered, and i do not think i would ever ask her to answer to me anymore. being a tuition teacher, after all, is not as how i expected it would be.