Bye Bye Fahim

I am writing this piece again with a recurring feeling of several months before. The fear of moving towards the future with one less companion.

It is strange really, for starter, my new circles of acquaintances were all have names starting with the letter F. My housemates – Fahmi and Fadhli. And my coworkers – two Faizals, Fahim, Fareez and Farhan.

It was a bizarre coincidence, but an interesting one too. 

So not long after that, I began to develop friendship with these people, Fahim particularly. I would call him a man, but that would not suit his childishness – so he was a boy of 26 – same age as mine. 

Most of the time, I had to conceal my true self while working. Act all serious, professional – because I was the youngest in my previous company among the officers. I could not show them my real colours, because I feared of being judged. But having Fahim as my companion, I could comfortably be myself – the funny kid I am – because Fahim is one too.

We clicked away just like that – particularly because we were born the same year, thus we understand each other a lot better. We are also both doing our Master’s degree, which is a fact that puts us on the same level ground. 

Fahim and I instantly became a dynamic duo, we worked the best as a team. We are different, two opposing poles, but that makes us complement each other. He is the Bad Cop, while I’m the Good Cop. He’s the yin and I’m the yang.  

We would meet clients together, and we developed camaraderie with the clients too with our cheekiness and carefree way of working. We would finish each other’s sentences; with laughs and stupid jokes, each time strengthening the notion that we have a fantastic teamwork and our clients can sense that too. 

We fought our enemies, with us being Bad Cop, Good Cop. Fahim would launch the aerial attacks, while I cover the ground. He would sound angry, and I would sound sympathetic towards the enemy. Boom! We managed to make the enemy feel angry and sad at the same time, but with us clearly winning the fight. The enemy would be exhausted from the fight, for when they are mad I would calm them down, and when they’re calmed down Fahim would provoke them up again. It’s a vicious cycle of abuse, but we played the game quite well, leaving the enemy speechless and defeated in the end. 

After so long a time, I finally have a career that is Okay with me being myself and I no longer have to act all stuck-up professional and uptight. I can simply be the stupid funny me and I don’t have to care either people thought of me as unprofessional or not. 

And one thing that I would have to say I love most about being friends with Fahim is that how he would always invite me to Jemaah with him to the surau during prayer time. Fahim is a constant reminder for me to remember God, and I feel grateful for that.

So after 3 months of our teamwork, finally Fahim decided to leave to focus on his study. It doesn’t quite leave me astounded, but I was not happy about it either. I told Fahim that I would be leaving if he’s leaving too for I see no point for me to stay if I have to do all the things by myself. 

But I know that some people appear in your life to elevate you higher, and once they’ve served that purpose, you’re going to the next level, leaving them behind. Perhaps Fahim has fulfilled that cause, and now I have to learn to leave with what he had taught me. Sometimes that is the way we learn things. 

Fahim taught me that it’s OK to be me in the corporate world, and being professional does not necessarily mean being any less funny. Because this is all just temporary, and it’s pathetic to be pretentious while living this short life.

Future is scary, and scarier with one less companion. But there are people we’ve lost along the way, and aren’t we all doing just fine? 

Farewell now, Fahim. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. No one goodbye is easy to bid, especially this time. But it was an uplifting experience knowing you, and I am thankful for that.